Hindsight, it’s said, is 20/20, and for Tamron Hall, she told People that in hindsight, the events leading up to her sister’s murder still haunted her. That hindsight wasn’t letting her forget that she knew she had done everything wrong. After finding out about the abuse that was going on in her sister’s situation, she said: “I said to her, ‘What’s wrong with you?’ ‘You’re too beautiful. Too smart. You can do better.’ All the things I’ve learned now are wrong, I did them all.”

WINGS, an organization founded in 1985 to help victims of domestic abuse and their families, says that yes, asking a person why they don’t just leave could be incredibly harmful. Reminding the person that there are options out there for help, that they deserve to be safe, and that they’re not at fault are all key, and much better options when it comes to helping someone in a domestic abuse situation.

Hall says that it took her a long time to move past the guilty feelings that came when she thought of her sister, and that she was fortunate enough to have that tragedy lead her to a purpose with her ID channel show, “Deadline: Crime.” She explained: “I’ve been given an opportunity to make a difference.”

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