The reflection by Jalaluddin Rumi perhaps best sums up the relationship between superstar Vinod Khanna and well-known filmmaker Mahesh Bhatt. Both seekers. Both adventurists. Both had a flirtatious stint with sanyas... But one busted the myth of the Messiah way too early and discarded it all - the attire, the attitude, the accessory. “We both in our own ways were like innocent children trying to find answers. Osho Rajneesh was making you walk towards an oasis, which was actually a mirage. For me the enlightenment fairytale had ended,” confides Bhatt. But their relationship didn’t begin and end at the gates of Osho’s ashram. Their friendship was forged way back in the ’70s, when the much-in-demand Vinod had insisted that a down and out Bhatt direct Lahu Ke Do Rang and ‘changed his life forever’. “Behind the macho perception, Vinod was vulnerable. His heart would well up if he saw someone in distress. He was generous to a fault. A king. As large-hearted as he was larger than life,” says Bhatt looking back at a friendship that survived glamour and god-men...

TWIN SOULS

It’s believed, ‘One friend can change your life’! And Vinod Khanna was one such friend. The first time I laid eyes on him was on the set of Mera Gaon Mera Desh (1971), Hindi cinema’s first Eastern-Western, at Chandivali Studio in Powai. I was an assistant to director Raj Khosla saab. I remember Vinod came in a small stylish yellow car. I ushered him in his make-up room. Our very first encounter brought in a sense of familiarity. He was happy to see a person of my demeanor – an Anglicised Mumbaikar, a boy from an English school. Those days I wore long locks. He, of course, came from the affluent Malabar Hill, while I belonged to Shivaji Park. The first shot was of him riding into the village with his fellow dacoits. He dismounts the horse menacingly and kicks open the door of the house of the village headman. Khosla saab turned around and said, “This boy is going to be a star. He will set the nation ablaze.” And that he did. Vinod Khanna hit the landscape in a big way. We bonded further on the outdoor of the film.

As a director I had a disastrous foray in films - Manzilein Aur Bhi Hain (1974), Vishwasghaat (1977), Naya Daur (1978)... were unmentionable. So I used to make commercials – like Lifebuoy, Dalda… to keep the wolf from the door. Then one day I got a call from Shankar BC, a well-known distributor, who was venturing into production. I had a grim record of flops. I wondered why he had called me. He said, “My exhibitors from Ulhasnagar say that Vinod Khanna’s films are well-received. While Vinod says take Mahesh Bhatt and I’ll do your film. I want him. He wants you. How much money will you take?” I needed money desperately. I had got married (to Kiran Bhatt). I had a little girl (Pooja Bhatt). My father wasn’t keeping well. So I just said, “` 30,000!” Shankar BC gave me ` 20,000 right away. The line, ‘One friend can change your life,’ turned real for me at this juncture. When you’re discarded by destiny, it requires a person with extraordinary generosity to see you without your track record. This gesture from Vinod began our friendship.

Then we began working on Lahu Ke Do Rang (1979). During this time our association got intense because of the queries in our hearts – like where have I come from and where do I go after this body crumbles and goes into dust? Also, with my LSD experience, the influence of the Beatles, the Berkeley and flower power, I was mesmerised by the spiritual jargon of Osho Rajneesh. I became his disciple and had taken to wearing robes. Around that time, in the early ’80s, the demise of Vinod’s mother and a close relative had left him disturbed. He began listening to Rajneesh’s tapes. Slowly, he expressed his desire to join him. He accompanied me to the ashram. And it enchanted him. He also became a disciple. That became the glue of our friendship. We travelled to Pune together, attended meditation together, met Rajneesh together and returned together. But gradually, I realised that we were putting up a performance of having all the answers. The posturing became tiresome for me. I realised that the two and a half years I had spent with Rajneesh had not contributed in any way. I could quote Buddha, Guru Nanak, Zen, the Bhagvad Gita.... I had become a wordsmith. I could do five hours of meditation daily. But I was still lost. My personal life was going through hell too. I’d fallen in love with Parveen (Babi). Though it was condoned by the ashram and its permissive value system, in the real world I found it difficult to deal with the situation of having two women. That took a toll on my sense of wellbeing. No words, no meditation, was numbing my anguish. So one day I broke Rajneesh’s mala (beaded necklace) and flushed it down the toilet. The word of that reached Rajneesh. He was the self-proclaimed ‘Enlightened One.’ He had followers all over the world. So who was this guy who had spoken his mind and done it so disgracefully? GOD’s WRATH The defining moment in our friendship came when one day Vinod called me from Filmistan Studio, “Come and see me. I’ve a message from Bhagwan. He’s angry about what you’ve done. He said, ‘Bring him here or else I’ll destroy him’. That at once snapped and ignited something in me. Here’s this individual, who proclaims that he’s enlightened. But now he was behaving like a jilted lover. He was no different from anyone else. He was just a wordsmith like me. I told Vinod, ‘I’ll not return. However shaky they are, I’ll have to walk on my own feet. And I’m not afraid of Bhagwan’s wrath’. What I value most of this conversation was the concern in Vinod’s voice. He was worried like an elder brother, a friend about a calamity coming my way. Vinod couldn’t believe that I could be so stubborn. Somewhere, at that point, we began drifting apart. Rajneesh played him against me. He told him, ‘Mahesh didn’t have it in him. But you’ve got the determination to reach the very end.’

TO OREGON & BACK

The D-day came when Rajneesh wanted to move from Pune to Oregon in the US. And Vinod was part of that exodus in 1982. Sometime later I went to meet Vinod there. I wanted to complete my film Shatruta with him. He suggested shooting in some places in LA, which could resemble India. He came to receive me at the airport. We spent the night drinking, crying, fighting, hugging... at a friend’s place. But our outlook had changed. Then around 1985, Vinod returned from the US. He seemed disillusioned though he was not articulating it. We sat, talked, drank... during the day. Something had withered in him. He had turned quiet. He seemed to be in a deep depression. After six years of breaking away, out of curiosity, I expressed my desire to meet Rajneesh when he came down to Mumbai. Rajneesh thought if I wanted to see him, it meant I was still hooked to him. But my concern was Vinod. I told Rajneesh that Vinod was not himself and was spiralling into the abyss of depression. I had witnessed the crack up of Parveen Babi. If I could prevent that catastrophe from happening to him... But he dismissed the conversation about Vinod in just one sentence. “I don’t want to talk about Vinod. That’s another story.” I was appalled by his insensitivity. I could see he himself was unstable. His hands were shaking. He was like an actor past his prime trying to put on a show. He looked sad. I asked him, “Is there anything apart from words that you can give?” He ducked the question. He just said, “What’s wrong in that?” And went on with his words, words, and words...   Whenever the topic of Rajneesh came up, Vinod skirted the issue. He didn’t go back to wearing the robes but he continued to believe. He’d say, “I have great affection for him and his words.” I was not against Rajneesh but against what is being promised by these people and we being gullible enough to buy it. That was a street I couldn’t enter. So I respectfully backed out from that. And slowly Vinod and I became strangers with sweet memories.

His comeback films Insaaf and Satyameva Jayate (both in 1987) did well. We did Jurm (1990) together; the song Jab koi baat bigad jaayee from it is still popular. He was welcomed yet he couldn’t regain the glory he had abandoned. The world doesn’t wait. “I can’t compete,” was the dissonance he often had with Rajneesh who would say, “You have to compete. You’re in a market place.” He’d retort, “Is this what I have to do to rise to the top?” Vinod was basically an idealistic soul. Gradually, his vigour for Rajneesh lessened - like a love affair, which has lost its spark after the upheavals. Then he entered the domain of politics. Our worlds changed. I’d bump into him on an airplane occasionally. I was amused to see that side of him. Our political ideologies were again different. Though that didn’t deter me from maintaining a cordial relationship with him. Around 2012, his son Sakshi came to meet us. We wanted to cast him for Aashiqui 2. I called up Vinod and told him that I was charmed by the young boy and that he had the fire for a long innings. Anyway, the casting didn’t happen for some reason. Two to three years back I learnt that Vinod was unwell. I called him up and asked, “Heard you’re sick?” He gave a little laugh saying, “No, no I’m well.” Then recently when I saw the heartbreaking picture of a sick Vinod being circulated on social media. I was shocked. He didn’t look like Vinod. My brother Mukesh (Bhatt) called up his brother Pramod, who said he was hospitalised for dehydration. I asked Mukesh not to add to their pressure. It’s not fair to impose yourself because sometimes receiving visitors is more painful. Vinod passed away on April 27. In retrospect, I’ve not arrived at some oasis where there’s enduring peace. I didn’t find the answers. So the questions just dropped. I don’t know whether Vinod found the answers to his questions or he broke away from the quest. At 68, I can say with great humility that not knowing is the natural state of man. The truth is that nobody ever figures out what life is all about and it doesn’t matter. Thinking of Vinod fills me with gratitude. I repeat, ‘One friend can change your life’ and I was really lucky to have him.

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